Yeahhh!

I made the team, B*tches!




Sixteen gift bottles of Cristal for Omar later, and I'm on the squad!

How'd I do it?



Stress my intangibles, just like my man Jose told me.

Even better, Omar just signed my homeboy, Rickey Ledee. Ledee has a good connection for weed and an awesome van, so I predict nothing but good times!

I am not *!&%^$ Bernie Williams!

People, get it in your head. I am not Bernie Williams. Stop comin up to me for John Hancocks with that sh*t. I am still playing, and he's sitting his ass at home waiting for a call from the Devil Rays.

If you are still confused, use this chart:

Bernie Williams

Yankees don't want him
Candy-ass
Soft
Hangs out with Yanni
whiter than Andy Richter
just as soon as serve you coffee
Released an album called "The journey within"

Me

Mets
bad ass
Hard
I keeps it real
Proud of my heritage
just as soon as break you in two
Released album called "I f**ed your daughter's face"


Just look at this guy:



Also, I am definitely not Damian Miller! Markymark-lookin muthf**ker!



Goddamnit!

Spring Update from the Easlinator

Hey y'all.

Those of you who know and love me (and whoever knows me loves me) are probably wondering, "Where Damion at? I don't see his name in the papers much at all these days?"

Earlier this month, my three-run jack off of Hilleki Okajimama. That's where I'm at. I'm not just making this team. I am this team.

Now, sure I've done some ass-kissing in public. Sure I said that Willie Randolph used to be my favorite player.

"Liked his style," Easley said. "I was a little guy. I wasn't a big home run hitter, so ... Reggie Jackson was exciting, Dave Winfield was exciting. But I don't know. I just had an appreciation for guys who set the table."

But Willie is smoking crack if wants me, Damion Easley, to earn a spot on his club, much less on his club's bench!!

If that dumb bastard doesn't appreciate my POWERMIND: peak performance mental training technique , then he can kiss my ass. Damion Easley doesn't make plate appearances for nothing. And you've got these sorry asses running across the field hurting themselves, sleeping on their necks hurting themselves.